Update On My Condition

Well, I finally got a chance to do the venography.  I was very stressed out about it because I remember the pain that I experienced in Taiwan like it was yesterday.  I just kept praying about it and made myself breathe to relax.  I was told not to eat after midnight prior to surgery.  I checked in at 5:30 am.  I did routine paperwork, got my blood taken, and then was taken to my room.  While there, I was given a gown to change into and a nurse came in to start an IV.  After the IV was started, another nurse came in to prep my groin area for the procedure.  I think we (my mom and I) waited for about 20-30 min before they came to get me for the procedure.
My bed and I were wheeled down into the room and I was very nervous and excited at this point.  I had a million things running through my mind.  The room was freezing!  The doctor came in the room and explained the procedure to me.  I told him that I understood because I had the procedure done before, but did not get the stents due to the lack of money.  I asked (actually pleaded) him to give me something for the pain because I was experiencing some anxiety about it.  He informed me that I wouldn't feel a thing.  I was able to relax after that.
I scooted over to the table and they began to sterilize my groin area.  Basically, I was exposed for a brief moment and then they covered my private area with a cloth. I remember hearing someone say that they were going to give me some numbing medicine, but I didn't realize that it was going to go through my IV.  I was expecting a big needle to the groin. Lol! Because of the medicine, it felt like the procedure took 5 min.  Ok, back to the procedure.  The initial plan was to go into the right side, across my belly, and to my left side.They tried to insert the catheter into my right side first, but they failed.  So, they moved to my left side and failed there as well.  I remember them asking if I could flip over onto my stomach and I did, but was kind of out of it.  The reason they flipped me over was because they wanted to try and go in through the back of my knee.  They couldn't get in through there so they flipped me back over and told me that they were going to go in through my neck.  I remember nodded my head okay, but was think "WTHeck!"  I didn't feel a thing!  I wanted to watch the procedure on the screen this time, but was to sedated to do so.  The procedure was probably about 2 hrs long.  Afterwards the IR said that he didn't put in the stents because he didn't think that they would work.  I was coming out of the sedation and was having a hard time understanding why I still didn't get my stents.  I was quite upset!
I had a couple doctors come into my hospital room to explain what they saw. What they saw was evidence of past blood clots that resulted in them having to weave through the veins during the procedure.  I was told to continue doing what I have been doing and to get regular check ups.  I think that my family was more upset after this second visit. I was told to buy Haynes Alive stocking because they were less expensive and they worked just as well.  I wasn't put on any blood thinners, but I don't understand why if I had previous blood clots.  So, yeah!  That's it!  I got a "Sorry, but there is nothing that we can do for you" diagnosis that left me back at square one.  I will not be giving up anytime soon.  Someone somewhere has to help me get the proper care that I have been seeking for the past 14 years.  Until then, I plan on putting things in motion for 2012  so that I can help others in my situation.

Finally an Appt

Well, I have gotten adjusted to being back in the States.  It wasn't easy, but because I stayed busy from day one I was able to get into a routine a lot quicker than expected.  I set up an appointment to see my doctor, show him the scans and videos, and to ask for a referral for some doctors in Jonesboro, Arkansas.  I didn't get to see him because they were behind schedule so I left my scans and a message for him to call me.  The weekend past and on Monday morning I received a phone call from the doctors office telling me about my appointment in Jonesboro, what I needed to take with me, and that I needed to fast the night before.  Of course, I was in shock after the conversation.  I felt excited, nervous, and scared all at once.  The girls (volleyball team) were so excited for me!  I recently explained to them my condition because this is a new set of girls that don't know me like the 9th graders know me.  So my appointment/day of treatment will be September 2, 2011 at 8:30am. Until then, I plan on being as physically active as possible.  I don't want things to change.  In case they do, I don't want to waste time doing nothing.  I want to take advantage of it all.

Flea Bites

Since I am leaving and going back to the States in 8 days, I have been traveling around the city and visiting people. Sunday, I went to a friend's new apartment and hung out at the park for a bit.  While at their house, I was bitten by fleas.  I didn't realize it until I got up the next day and I had at least 10 bites on my legs and arms. My very caring coworkers gave me some medicine to rub on and that has helped tremendously. If I stop scratching, then I will be fine.  Photos coming soon!

More Discoloration

I thought the skin discoloration had disappeared, but I was wrong.  Yesterday, while carefully shaving (yes, I know I shouldn't but I had no choice at the moment), I noticed that both of my legs have a good amount of discoloration / darkness on my shins. It's in an oval shape and seems like it started growing recently.  Not sure why, but I will keep an eye on it. 

I'm still experiencing swelling in my right ankle.  It goes down after elevation or sleep, but comes back throughout the day.  I will continue to move around and exercise to force good circulation through my veins.  17 days until I go home! Please, continue to keep me in your prayers.  

Nothing New Under The Sun

I have seen no new changes.  That can be a good thing and it could be a bad thing.  We will see how this thing plays out.  My right ankle is still swollen, but the calf area has not grown (which is good).  I'm not experiencing any pain, but have been getting tired a lot quicker.  The exhaustion may be due to the heat or the constant standing and moving that I have been doing.  I plan on getting to the pool some time this week to let the water pressure do some work on the circulatory system. 23 days until I return to the States.  Keep me in your prayers!

It's Official!

My right side is definitely going through the changes that took place in my left side 13 years ago.  I have less than 30 days until I return to the States.  I will need to document the changes that occur to give my doctor a better understanding of what's going with my body.  Hopefully, it can help him  determine an accurate medical procedure and form of treatment.  Until then, you will have to deal with my constant blogging about my legs and feet.

It's The Little Things That Count!!!

Here are the before and after photos of my feet.  I didn't elevate as long or as high as I normally do, but will start back soon.  You can see a slight difference in sizes. I like the fact that the right side goes down with elevation.  That probably means that the left side is almost completely closed and the extra fluid doesn't have anywhere to go or that my right side is suffering from what the left side is doing/not doing.  I know a stent will help make this alright and I thank God that I haven't had any clots. I am definitely trying to monitor my pulse and blood pressure.  I think my blood pressure is being affected because at work I often get this funny feeling in my chest and stomach. It kind of feels like butterflies, but not so obvious. When I get this feeling, I take a few deep breaths and try to walk around to promote circulation.  I think with my right side swelling now, my heart isn't getting enough blood flow, which would explain my 55-60 bpm pulse that I am starting to get every now and then.  I still think that my active schedule and God have gotten me this far. I'm going to continue with both until I know otherwise.  God won't change, but my circumstance will!  If you know of anyone that has any symptoms of MTS (May-Thurner Syndrome), then please tell them to get checked out no matter how ridiculous they feel.  It may seem like it's not a big deal, but prolonging treatment can be traumatizing.

 Before

 Before

 After

After

Elevation

Things have been going well lately even with the hot weather.  My right foot is still showing signs of distress. I've been elevating every night now since it began to swell.  I guess my body is getting used to it because it is not bothering me as much to sleep on my back as it used to. I need some new shoes, but might as well wait until I return to the States.  Finding a good pair that are actually my size will be a challenge here. I will do a before and after shot of my foot tonight and in the morning.  I will show the difference and what I'm working with. 

Clear!!!

No, I didn't pass out and have to get shocked.  I am referring to the skin on my left foot. I had a big purple rough patch on the side of my foot. I was told that it was the result of blood/iron seeping out of the veins and pooling underneath the skin. Well, the other night I was inspecting my foot and adding creams to keep them from being too dry.  I accidentally scratched the rough part and a piece of it disappeared like a scab.  It didn't hurt, but was kind of weird and uncomfortable. After I scratched and scrapped as much as I could stand, I applied Neosporin to the area in case of any unknown scarring. So far the purple color hasn't returned.  I am flip flop ready!  Of course, I won't wear them for long periods of time due to the lack of support. I'm counting down the days until I return to the States to find a doctor to perform the stenting.

I'm Doing Something Right

Aside from the swelling that has started in my right foot and ankle, I have noticed a positive change in my skin color and texture. I'm not sure why it is changing, but whatever I'm doing must be right.  I bought a skin cream last month.  I started out using it religiously, but then that changed when I found out that it was bad to use it for an extended period of time. Now, I use it ever other week. Last night before volleyball, I put some on along with some baby oil, but the skin was dull, dry, and scaly feeling. It felt like I need to buff it down or something. Lol! Of course, it was hot and humid in the gym. And I left looking like I jumped in a swimming pool with all of my clothes on. When I got home, I began to rub and scratch on my legs. Now, this will sound nasty so be warned. I'm not sure what I was scratching off, but it looked like a layer of skin.  It didn't hurt so I continued to do so until nothing else would come off. I took a shower and did not apply anything to it afterwards.  This morning I looked at my legs and they were smoother, softer, had some color to them, and my skin had returned to normal. Very weird!!! Hopefully, I won't have to do that again, but I will definitely pay close attention from now on.

Quite A Scare

Yesterday, I was getting my hair braided by a friend of a friend.  She had been braiding my hair for 2hrs when I began to feel like I couldn't catch a deep breath. I allowed her to braid 2 more braids just to see if I was imagining things before I asked for a break.  But nothing changed. So we took a break and I stood up to stretch my legs and to try to catch a good breath. I took several deep breaths that felt like I wasn't doing anything. It felt like I needed to yawn or inhale some oxygen. I felt that standing up wasn't helping and I remember taking a step towards the living room area to sit back down because I was feeling dizzy and then I remember waking up against the wall. Yep, you guessed it!  I passed out! Apparently, I didn't sit down fast enough.  From what I was told, my friend ran downstairs to get the security guard.  He came and saw me on the floor and called an ambulance. I think while they were calling the ambulance, I woke up and again tried to catch my breath.  It was getting better, but it still wasn't 100%.  I managed to get up and crawl up the stairs.  Yes, I realize now that my actions were very dangerous and I probably should have just stayed there on the floor.  But, if you have been reading and understand the person that I am, then you will understand how stubborn I am when it comes to my health.  So there I was laying on the bed trying to regulate my breathing while explaining to everyone that I don't speak Chinese.  I asked my friend to bring up the computer so that I could use Google Translate (my best friend!).  By the time she came up the stairs, they had asked a lady that lives in the building to translate for us.  She translated and they all talked me into going to the hospital even though I didn't want to go. 
I always wondered how the EMTs got the stretchers upstairs in some of these apartments.  I'm glad that I have an elevator.  Well, the stretchers bend like a big wheelchair. Once they get the patient and chair out of the building then they lay it down to get it in the ambulance. And that's how they roll! Oh yeah, their sirens sound like they are playing it in reverse when compared to ours. Lol!
So, they get me to the hospital and they began to ask me questions in broken English.  I really do need to go to some of the hospitals and give medical training on how to interact with Americans.  In America, you have a lot more privacy!  After getting some vital signs, they rolled me into another room that had at least 11 other people waiting.  It was like a waiting room for patients. Just one big room with some curtain dividers that they only used when doing tests.  They did an EKG on me and pulled the curtain closed. It was myself and another lady inside of the curtain. Weird being exposed in a room with 2 perfect strangers.  Oh well. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger. Of course, me being black and a foreigner attracted a lot of attention in my area. When the lady was taking my blood and inserting the IV, a man (let me take that back), 2 men decided to come over and lean ever so slightly across my right side to watch what she was doing on the left.  She finally said something to them in Chinese and they shook their heads and walked off.  I was like "Wow! Really!?!" I was still tired from my little episode and still trying to put it all together.  I managed to take a power nap while there even though there were a lot of weird noises going on around me.
The results are in!!!
The blood work came back good.  They tested me for a blood clotting gene and didn't find one.  He couldn't understand why I wasn't on any blood thinning medication.  I had a hard time explaining to him that I have no clots and that I don't have a stent in place.  He did say that my "D-Dimer" levels were elevated and probably due to a previous DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis).  My EKG showed a first degree blockage.  He told me not to worry about it because sometimes even the healthiest people have that. The last test (don't remember what it was called) came back normal as well.  The doctor believes that it is all related to MTS and said that if I continued feeling weird to go back to Dr. Hsu at Wanfang Hospital.
I paid my bill (650NTD) and walked outside to catch a bus, go to a MRT, or get a cab.  It wasn't until I got outside that I was able to see the name of the hospital (Tri-Service General).  No one told me which bus to take, what area I was in, or how to get to the MRT.  So I walked down the street and checked out a couple of bus stops.  The next bus that I needed was 55 min away.  I was starving!  I decided to walk down the street to find some food and come back to the bus stop.  Once I got to the intersection, I realized that I wasn't far from home.  I found a little cafe about 10min from the hospital and ate a chicken croissant sandwich and had some water because I had severe cotton mouth.  After I left, I was STILL hungry and couldn't decided if I wanted to catch a cab. I saw a 7-11 and decided to go their to get some food for later and something for now.  Unfortunately, their shelves were empty and I continued walking down the street closer to my house.  Every time I stopped in the store, they had nothing that I wanted. I ended up going to McDonald's to get a cheeseburger and some fries.  I walked home and was question (in Chinese/Taiwanese) by my security guard about what happened, about what the doctor said, and about where my friend went. He still hasn't gotten it in his head that I can't speak his language. Lol! I ate and slept for 5 hrs. Talk about exhausted.  Today, I continued to rest even though the weather outside is gorgeous.  Maybe I can go to the park and sit under a tree.  It's TOO pretty to stay indoors. I have only 2 1/2 months left in Taiwan and then it's back to the States.

That was weird!!!

I woke up this morning to a left leg that was the same size as the right. It was weird!! The swelling wasn't completely gone, but my leg was pretty close to being normal. The natural color has come back because I have been using a cream that I got from Dr. Med here in Taiwan.  Saturday, we went to the Flora Expo and that meant lots of walking. I prepared myself for the day by elevating the night before AND wearing a compression hose on my left leg.  I was miserable because it was actually quite warm on Saturday and I hadn't worn a compression hose since I got off of the plane in August. Hmm... Maybe I should start back wearing them. I am suppose to get a free stent next week. I hope all works out. I know God has my back and takes care of it all.

Resources

If you MTS or think that you have MTS, then you can click on the following links to learn more.

1. http://www.may-thurnersyndrome.org/
2. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=109802252379583
3. http://groups.google.com/group/mts-international-group
4. http://groups.google.com/group/may-thurner-syndrome-support-group
5. http://groups.google.com/group/annes-non-dvt-may-thurner-syndrome-group

To help with lymph edema drainage in the Fayetteville Area, you can contact Laurie Blair.

Picture Perfect

Here is a picture of the two compressed areas of my vein. These nice 3D images were given to me by the doctors here in Taipei City, Taiwan. If you are in need of a doctor and you live close to the area, then you should contact Dr. David Hsu at Wanfang Hospital.

Look At Me Now

I applied for a Teach in Taiwan program through the Arkansas State Department of Education. I was accepted and have been teaching in Taiwan since August 2010.  It is quite the experience so far. There are many things to see and do here. For the most part, the people are really nice. Some are really curious! They like to stare, touch, or talk to you in Chinese even if you don't speak their language. Taiwan is a beautiful island. If you would like to know more about what I have been doing here, then take a look at my "Timeout in Taiwan" blog. I'm sure you will enjoy the pictures.
Before I came to Taiwan, my legs were my main concern. I wasn't sure how they would hold up after a +18 hour flight. My compression hoses really didn't help, but created indentions throughout my leg. When I arrived here in August, it was very hot and very humid. If you have been reading, then you know that I was as big as a house. To get around this lovely city, you have to walk, ride a bike, take the metro, or take a bus. Being that I am a foreigner, I have to walk to a lot of places. I just told myself that it was no big deal and that walking was good exercise. Well, before I came, I researched lymph edema clinics or trials. I found one and immediately contacted the guy. He responded through email and said that there was only one doctor in the area that had knowledge of lymph edema in the lower extremities. He gave me his name and email address and wished me luck.
I contacted Dr. David Hsu through email and explained my condition.The following day he asked me to give him a call. I called and he asked me several questions about my past medical history. He went on to say that he had an idea of what I had and needed me to come in to confirm his thoughts.  I agreed to come out and thanked him for his time.
After the phone call, I just sat there in amazement. I was ready to cry because I had so many mixed emotions flowing through my body. At one point, I felt a smile come across my face because their was a possible treatment for my condition if it was what he thought. Then I felt anger because after 13 years it took me coming to another country to find something new to research.  Later on that night, I just cried. The tears were a mixture of emotions from things in my past that were not health related to health and relationships.  I just remember crying for a long period of time. My pillow was drenched in tears. I had to ask myself when was the last time that I had cried. Had I been trying to be tough for so long that I forgot how to cry? I believe that was the case because with this new found possibility EVERYTHING made me emotional. I could watch a movie and shed some tears. I could watch a popular TV series and a lump would form in my throat. Before I knew it, a few tears had dropped. The moments could be sad or happy. Whatever it was, I had a tear coming. I'm still having a hard time dealing with these new emotions. Anyway, let's get back to the doctor visit.
Like any other time, I expected to be asked the same questions and received the same tests. I was partly right. The questions were the same, but he only ran one test. He took a blood pressure reading in my legs. Let me rephrase that. He TRIED to get a blood pressure reading in my legs. They took giant blood pressure cuffs built for the legs and tried to get a reading. They performed the test twice and he came back to tell me that the blood wasn't circulating and that he believed that I had MTS. I was like "What is MTS?" After all these years, it was a new diagnosis that I had never heard of. MTS stands for May Thurner Syndrome. Basically, the iliac vein is either compressed, partially compressed, or in some cases blocked due to blood clots.  He wouldn't know the specifics until he could do a venography. Of course, I freaked out because I thought he meant venogram like the one I did in the past. When I questioned him about it and calmly assured me that it was similar but not outdated like the one I before. That gave me some relief because I wasn't sure if I could go through that again. He explained to me that normally they would admit the patient on a Wednesday, do a vein study on Thursday (venogram), perform a stent placement on a Friday if it was MTS, get the patient up and walking around on Saturday, and discharge on a Sunday. That scared me because here I am in a foreign land and I have never had to stay in a hospital for over a day. Not to mention the language barrier. I agreed to and waited for the dates to be confirmed. As time grew closer, I learned that I would have to pay all of the money during the visit (at least $100,000 NTD). They have good health care here, but they do not have payment plans.If you are wondering how much $100,000 NTD is in American money, then I will tell you that it is around $3, 388. I hope you caught the "at least" part. That amount is for the stents only and not for the hospital stay, chemicals needed, or medicines. Each stent is worth $50,000 NTD. Because I could not afford it, I asked if he could do the test to confirm the diagnosis and he agreed.
VENOGRAPHY
Here is what I went through to get my diagnosis.
I was admitted on a Wednesday afternoon. I was taken to get blood drawn and I got an EKG done. Wow is all I can say when I want to compare the technological differences between the States and here. The EKG had suction cups in the shape of those suction devices for babies noses. They left hickies on my chest as well.
They didn't hurt, but they weren't comfortable. Next, I had to get a chest x-ray. After the chest x-ray, I was shown to my room. The semi-private rooms were all full so I had to stay the night in a community room. NOT FUN!!  Four people to a room. 2 of my roomies were alright, but the last one drove me insane. I felt sorry for her. She kept yelling throughout the entire night. I don't know what she was yelling because it was in Chinese. The only time that she would stop was when a nurse or aide came in during their rounds. As soon as they walked out of the door, she was back on it. I did not get a lot of rest that night and the IV in my arm did not help.
Thursday morning, I was greeted by several nurses and doctors that were going to be looking at my tests and that were learning about my condition. Many spoke to me in Chinese. I would say to them (in Chinese) that I didn't understand. I guess to them that meant that I didn't understand what they were saying and that they needed to rephrase it in Chinese. I would laugh and then say "I don't know" (in Chinese). They would give me a strange look and then realize that I couldn't understand them. They would do some kind of motion to let me know what they were about to do, take care of the task, and then we would both laugh as they walked out of the door. That happened off and on until they took me downstairs at noon. Talk about an experience!
Downstairs they put me on a table that had some kind of machine above it and a monitor that swung out so that the IR (Interventional Radiologist) and I could watch the procedure. Yes, I did have a flashback and began to get nervous. Ok, next they applied iodine over the area where they were going to insert the catheter. The IR explained the procedure again and asked me if I had any questions. My main question was "Is it going to hurt?" Don't laugh! I had a valid reason for sounding like a kid at that point. I think I was traumatized by previous events.  Anyway, he went on to say that he was about to give me a numbing anesthetic for the site. He brought out his needle and I flinched but made it through. I was able to breathe through the pain and relax a little. Now, the next part is kind of hazy and you will understand why in a second. The IR said and I quote "Alright, I'm about to puncture you." I wish I had a camera for the look on my face when he said that and the look on my face when he "punctured" me. OH MY GOODNESS!!! I didn't think I was supposed to feel it! He didn't understand why I was in so much pain. The tears came a-rolling. I remember the pain, gripping the table, trying to breath, and mentally praying for it all to be over. After about 3-5 minutes that felt like eternity, I was FINALLY able to calm down and look at the screen a little. I didn't see anything so I closed my eyes again. The aide kept coming over and wiping my tears away and saying nice things to make me calm down. She was really sweet. After I calmed down, they began to talk me through the procedure and asked if I wanted to hear music. Of course I wanted to hear music, but the thoughts in my head weren't allowing the sound to filter through. The went in through my right iliac vein because they felt the left would be too closed or blocked to proceed. I could feel the catheter creeping across my stomach. It was a weird and funny feeling. I remember them telling me that they were injecting the dye (did not hurt like before Thank God) and that I needed to hold my breath. The injecting the dye part was a weird feeling. It felt warm going through my veins and it felt like I was using the bathroom on myself even though I was reassured that I wasn't. I think we did that 2-3 times and then that part was over. I was instructed NOT to move! And I do mean not a muscle. There were about 6 people that came out of nowhere to get me off of the table, on to the bed, and on to a CT machine. Once in the machine, I was instructed NOT to move! I was following orders so well that I was afraid to blink. When that test was over, they helped me to the bed and told me that I had to rest for 2-3 hours before they would discharge me.
I'm not sure if the woman from the previous night was still in the room. I know I passed out from exhaustion. 3 hours later, my IV was almost finished and the doctor came up to talk with me about his findings. 
DRUM ROLL PLEASE...........................................
"Just like I thought. You have a condition very common here in Taiwan. You have MTS anatomy." The lady that was with him wanted to correct him and say that I had MTS, but he said something to her and she shook her head in agreement. He went on to say that my left iliac vein is compressed in two areas. One up high and one down low. I was amazed! God has been taking care of me for some time now. No wonder why my left leg is 2-3 times bigger than my right leg. I was happy! I am still happy! I now have a diagnosis for a condition that has bothered me for 13 years. The only thing keeping me from treatment was money.
2 weeks later, I received an email from Dr. Hsu stating that a company wanted to offer me a free stent. He wanted to know if I wanted it and when I wanted  to do the procedure. Of course, I want it! I'm not sure what I will have to do to get it, but I will do an interview, write a story, or talk to others if I have to. We are currently working on the dates. As of now, I am praying for sometime during the week of April 11th - April 17th. I will get the free stent here and then get another stent put in when I return to the States in July. You can see a picture of the 3D images that I received during the test. As soon as I can get the video to work on my computer, then I will upload it as well.

Social Life

Are you wondering if my social life is affected? Well, the answer to that is yes and no.
YES
Yes in the fact that I can't dress like I would like. I know that high heels are overrated, but any kind of heel poses a problem.  Skirts and shorts look weird because all of the attention is drawn to my legs. I have been told by others with similar issues that I am brave for wearing shorts and/or compression hoses in the summer for all to see.  This condition does play with your emotions and your self esteem.  Like every girl, I would think about my soul mate or my future family. But after so many years of this, I sometimes feel that it wouldn't be fair to them in the long run. I am used to taking care of people not the other way around. I'm not sure that I know how to deal with the thought of extreme limited mobility or even death. So why should I put that burden on someone else? At first, I would wait to tell a guy about my condition. I would wait until we had been on a couple of dates to see if it was even worth telling him. Then, as I got older, I began to tell them up front. I just put it all on the table. If they were still interested, then I would feel somewhat relieved.  I find that I always cover up. I am plain Jane! If it is a cute outfit, then 9 times out of 10 I don't own it. I don't like shopping for clothes because of it and shopping for shoes is way too easy. I only buy tennis shoes because they are the only thing that can give me comfort and proper support. Of course, I have to get a half size bigger to accommodate the size differences between my feet. I love flip flops, but when your toes look like piggies then it is not very attractive. Not to mention the amount of swelling that comes from wearing them.  Do I want to ever get married and have kids? Yes, but I'm not holding my breath.
NO
No in the fact that I have developed a nonchalant, stubborn, hard-shell-to-crack attitude out of all this. I work hard at not letting other's comments or views get to me. I work hard at calling guys out on the games that they play. I don't have time to waste on someone that isn't ready to love or ready to show me the respect that I deserve. I do what I do best; ME! I focus on me and what I enjoy doing in life. I find new things to explore. Basically, I try to find joy in being my own company. I've gotten more involved in my church and have begun to read my bible more frequently than before.  It is an amazing feeling to be truly happy with who you are regardless of your situation. I couldn't have gotten this far without God and the support of my friends and family.

Flash Forward

Well, things continued going in circles. Summer time would come and I would swell. I would have a doctor visit to check things out and get the same answer (lymph edema and we don't know why). I would read up on lymph edema and how to properly care for myself. Get depressed and then cheer up because I was still alive. Winter would come and the swelling would decrease. The only thing NOT going in circles was my weight. My weight was on a steady incline. You can't imagine the facial expressions that I received when I told people that I was 200 lbs. Quick update: I gained 55 plus lbs over the years. Many doctors said that it was water weight and prescribed diuretics (water pills) and potassium supplements. Of course, that didn't last long as well. I was tired of being their guinea pig. I was tired of having to explain my condition and situation. I was tired of how people looked at me when I wore my compression hoses. I was tired of the way people looked at me when I didn't wear my compression hoses. One of my players thought I had elephantitis. I laughed and corrected her, but it was still hard to swallow.  I teach girls PE and coach junior high volleyball. I tell my students about my condition and past seizures at the beginning of the semester.  I do this because many people don't know about it or know what to do if something happened. The students respond well and they make sure that I'm taking care of. They completely understand if I need to take a day off and put myself on bed rest..  I use my condition against them at times to drive them to do better. If they are trying to get over or saying that they can't do something, then I might do something to show them that it can be done. It also helps me realize that my limbs are still VERY active despite how they look.

To Hell and Back

During my 3rd and 4th year of college, I had gotten used to the changes that were taking place with my body. The swelling became a part of life. If you are wondering if I ever went to a doctor, then the answer is yes. I saw quite a few doctors over the course of my college career. I saw some in Memphis and I saw some in Jonesboro. They all were confused on how healthy I was with this issue. Many of the same tests were ran over and over again. It got to the point that I could go into an appointment and tell them what they were going to test on and why. After several of those visits, I decided to do some research of my own. The diagnosis that they gave me was lymph edema. To be more clearer, I had pitting lymph edema in my lower extremities. Pitting edema is when you can press a finger to the skin and the indention stays visible for awhile. It was neat and disturbing at the same time. I felt like a freak show! The only thing that they could tell me was that something was blocking my blood flow. 
One day, my leg was so painful that you couldn't touch it without me wanting to breakdown and cry. I quickly learned that I had developed an infection. Some doctors call it cellulitis and others call it phlebitis. No matter the name; it REALLY hurts! The skin is warm to the touch due to a fever in the area and some times you can see areas of the skin that look like hives. Just a nice reminder, if someone says that they have it or they tell you that their skin hurts when touched lightly, then please believe them! I almost kicked a doctor because he wasn't listening or believing me. He didn't offer an apology or anything. His only words were "I guess it really does hurt." Of course, it cost me $600 (no insurance at the time) for him to come inside the room, touch my leg, comment, and write a prescription all within 5 minutes. 
Another doctor sent me to get some type of venogram. One of my teammates took me to the appointment and stayed with me there. Bless her heart! I will never forget the look of fear on her face. I was told that they were going to shoot a radioactive dye into my veins and look at where it goes. What they didn't tell me was the point of entrance. That point of entrance was the web of my toes. Did you notice that toes is plural? Yes, plural!!! There were about 5 doctors in the room. If that wasn't a sign of trouble to come, then I don't know what was. Basically, a doctor for each limb. One nice doctor said that he wanted to switch to holding my hand because he was tired of almost getting kicked by the patients. I warned him that I was stronger than I looked. He just smiled and said that he would be okay. Well, they made a point to tell me and remind me that I am not to move when they are injecting the dye. That is better said than done! So here we go! They start with the web next to my big toe. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! It burned for like 2 minutes straight! They are all talking to me, trying to get me to continue to breathe, and not move. After I finally calmed down, they announced "It's time to move to the next web." Ugh!!! I made it through webs 2 and 3. By the time they got to the pinkie toe, I passed out. I woke up to a light in my eyes, a cold and wet towel on my forehead, and 6 worried faces. They told me what happened and told me that it was time for phase 2 of the test. Like that wasn't enough! During phase 2, I had to lay on this table for 30 minutes. It was important that I didn't move because they were following the dye. They put a monitor in front of me so that I could watch the show. After 30 minutes, nothing happened. The doctors came to the table and said "We don't know what is wrong? It is not moving."  I just laughed because that was all that I could do from crying. We already knew that something was blocking it or slowing it down. We wanted to know what and why. They made me walk for about 15 minutes in hopes that it would trigger blood flow. Shawna and I talked about what happened and I reassured her that I was alright. They put me back on the table for another 30 minutes and again, nothing happened. At that point they didn't know what to do. I left that office the same way I came in, hopeless and confused. By the way, the doctor switched back to holding legs.
So, there you have it! My condition was progressing and I guess that wasn't enough. To add to the matter, I began to have seizures. The seizures weren't part of my previous medical history and they did start me on medicine that they said I would have to take for life. I'm still not sure why I get this sudden drop in blood pressure. It is very weird because I can tell you down to the second when I 'm about to pass out. It freaks a lot of people out and it did for me as well in the beginning. After seeing the fear on their faces, I decided to be the calm one and help them through it. I would tell them what to expect and what to do. I think it helped. They don't come a lot and I'm no longer on medicine. I have only had a total of 3 or 4 in my life.  I have been seizure free for 3 years now and that is a blessing.

A Lesson on Drive

After getting back into the swing of things, I started to feel normal again. Of course, that didn't last long. My legs started giving me problems again, but worse than before. It was to the point that Coach Brown asked me if I would like to red shirt for the year. I thought about it and told her no. I'm not sure if it was the right decision or not. I kind of felt like I was being selfish, but at the same time, I knew that I didn't want my condition to take over my life. With the final answer being no, Coach Brown began to drive me harder than before. I know she didn't do it because of my condition. I had been out of practice for about 2 weeks. It was killing me sitting around elevated and not being able to play. Surprisingly, each practice became more and more bearable. It didn't help that during volleyball season, the gym is extremely hot. We have one big floor fan to help cool us off and Coach Brown gave us many water breaks. When the weather is extremely hot, my lower extremities swell up like a blow fish. When the weather cools down, my body tends to regulate itself and the swelling decreases.  I remember a practice that changed my life. It was an evening practice full of conditioning drills. This one particular drill was set up like an obstacle course. Lots of chopping your steps, jumping on boxes, zigzag lines, and spiking. I remember Coach Brown encouraging me through the pain that I was feeling. She knew that we all were tired and aching, but she knew that my level of pain was different. That night, I learned a personal meaning for the word "drive." And to end this post, I'm going to answer a question that many have asked me. A question that I have failed to give the true answer to them. The most popular question is "Why won't you sit down somewhere or sit still and rest?" The real answer is because God has given me limbs to use. They may not be perfect, but they are still functional. I plan on using them and wearing them out until they are cut off or nonfunctional. So, I stay busy because I know one day I will be forced to be still. Until then, "Thank You God For The Activity Of My Limbs!!!"

A Year Off

After finishing my first year of college, I went home for the summer and decided not to return in the fall. That was a big mistake! I got a job working at a nursing home and then got a job working for Dollar General. This began my working-two-jobs-at-once spree. A spree that continues still today. I would work overnight at the nursing home, get off at 6 am, grab breakfast, take a 2 hour power nap, and then go to work at Dollar General until 8pm. After getting off at 8pm, I would go home, eat, shower, and then go to sleep until 10:30pm because I had to be at work at 11pm. This continued for awhile. Then I got a job at St. Bernard's Regional Hospital as a Certified Nursing Assistant. It was a lot easier than the nursing home. As you can see, I stayed on my feet a lot during that year off of school. I thought nothing of the swelling. I just figured that it was due to my busy work schedule. If you are wondering if I had any kind of social life, then the answer is yes. I was busy, but always found time to do the things that kept me happy and sane. I don't recall many episodes that kept me from working with the exception of one event. Nothing major happened. It was a regular working day at the hospital. I got off that night and checked myself into the ER because my feet and ankles were sore to the point that it was hard to walk. The doctor did an x-ray, took some blood, and checked my heart.  All tests came back negative for any issues or concerns. He prescribed me some pain medicine and told me to get some rest. I was off that weekend so getting rest was not a problem. After going through the motion of working way too much and way too hard, I decided that going to school wasn't such a bad idea after all. I called Coach Brown (Head Volleyball Coach at L.O.C) and asked her if I could come back. She told me yes and gave me some steps to follow. At this point I was very excited because I had another opportunity to do something that I loved AND it would take me a way from my current surroundings and heavy work load. I called my friend Tosha up and asked her if she would like to help me get in shape for volleyball season. She agreed to do so and participated in many of the activities. We had a blast! We would walk to the gym at Arkansas State University-Jonesboro, lift weights, do 30 minutes on an exercise bike, play a game (basketball, volleyball, racquetball), do a couple of miles on the track, and end with some leg throws outside on the track. I would have to say that racquetball was my absolute favorite! We would swing for the fences! Sometimes we made contact and somehow managed to hit the other person in the side, head, or leg. Other times, we would miss completely and fall down laughing. I think we did more laughing than playing. Of course, no good deed goes unrewarded. On the walk home, we would stop for ice cream at the Sonic's on Johnson Ave. And that is how I spent the summer getting into shape for the season. I'm guessing because I was so active that I somehow improved the circulation in my legs because I had no issues throughout my workouts. Not to mention that I would drop dead tired for the day. Again, resting was no issue.

How It All Began

In 1997, I was given the opportunity for an education and to play volleyball at LeMoyne-Owen College in Memphis, Tennessee.  Although I did not want to go to school after graduating high school, I found motivation to go to school through the sport of volleyball.  Don't get confused about my lack of motivation. I had good grades in high school and had been participating in multiple sports since 7th grade. I guess you can say that athletics were my outlet. Besides, I didn't want to be truant like some of the others. My mom was a single mother raising 3 girls and truancy and jail time was not something that I wanted to try.  That was something that would have made matters worse for my family. So, I did as I was told, went to school and finished the first goal set by many parents for their children. Anyway during my first semester of college, I experienced several setbacks that came in the form of deaths in the family. I lost my grandfather and a few cousins. It was weird! First, my grandfather (Issac M. Stotts) passed away in September due to health complications. Next, a chain reaction occurred until February. All were murdered. School had just started in September. I guess you can say that it was very hard to focus on school when you are constantly at funerals. My coach was a very understanding and patient coach. She helped me through a lot that year. I played my first college game in the middle of September and was welcomed back by the team with open arms. They gave me so much love and support that I knew that was where I was supposed to be.
Let's flash forward towards the middle of the season. I woke up to a swollen ankle. It looked like a bad sprain, but it wasn't painful. It was so big that I couldn't put on my size 8 shoe. I called my coach and she took me to the school health department. They asked me the usual questions about suffering injuries and if I were allergic to anything. They didn't know what to do because I wasn't in pain. They told me to elevate and do bed rest for a week and to see how things turned out. Well, the swelling went done, but it came back depending on how long I was on my feet. It became a major problem because I began to experience limited mobility on the court.  Nevertheless, it didn't stop me from completing the season. After the season was over, I just relaxed as much as I could and elevated as often as possible. I didn't return to the doctor that school year because I felt it was pointless and that is how it all began.